A few pics

I know I have way more interesting pictures to post (Brant's trip in the jungle, the new house, our new cat) but I figured I'd start somewhere and these are good lazy pictures on a Friday night while the boys are watching Veggie Tales. (And give me a good feel for how long it takes to upload photos on dial-up speed internet!)

On the plane... we flew Singapore Airlines for the first time and I hope we never fly another airline. ever. Was amazing. Actually good food (Haagen Dazs for dessert!) Toys for the boys. Free! snack bar in the back with fresh fruit and Hershey's and granola bars and chips and you could get snacks whenever you wanted. 

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Japan is always the low point in the trip. Two in the morning and totally exhausted...

But we made it back to the land of no car seats! Look at those smiles after being strapped down for 9 months. :) (Those are our teammates' kiddos.)

Ezra celebrated his 4th birthday just a couple days after we got back...

We celebrated by taking a team trip to the video arcade. I love arcades here - they are way loud and annoying, but all the games cost about 15 cents, which means hours of cheap entertainment. :) Here are all the team kiddos in front of the machine where one of the boys won the grand prize - 1000 tickets! It was pretty cool to see them all come out.... I tell you, from a 7 year old boy perspective, it doesn't get any better. :)

Today

I rocked my little boys in my rocking chair for the first time in ten months. We ate with our own silverware, on my beloved brown butcher paper plates. It's good to be back in our own place again and hang our pictures and curtains.

Also, today, my firstborn created his own "mosquito repellent" by starting "smoke" behind the tool shed, using the lighter I had just purchased to start my gas oven. He was so proud of himself. I have since hid the lighter. :)

Weighting

This is not one of the happy post cute pictures of the boys posts. So if you’re having a bad day, then maybe skip this one for later. 

It’s been raining all day here. I love the rain and the cool weather it brings, but my mind has been on Brant out traipsing through the jungle and wondering if he was all wet and miserable. 

Tonight we wives waited for the phone call from the men to let us know their location and that all were safe and sound... and perhaps holed up in a hut and warm and dry. 

We waited all night for a call that never came.

As it was sinking in that I would go to bed without knowing if my husband was safe, I got an email from our pastor’s wife in Texas with this verse...

“You can throw the whole weight of your anxieties upon Him, for you are His personal concern.” - 1 Peter 5:7 (Phillips)

Weighted is a good term to describe this week - Monday and Tuesday were fine and dandy as our teammates were still here and I had someone to help slather bug spray and sunscreen on the kids and cut their meat at dinner time. I had someone to talk with in the evenings and besides that, I could call or text Brant when I needed. 

Wednesday our teammates flew back to America and Brant flew into the tribe. And I have no one to share the weight of each day with... which, with emails from our property manager about costly repairs needed done to our house in Texas and meetings with our area leadership about our future ministry and car repairs and cell phone repairs and two sick boys.... (all of this since yesterday morning!) has suddenly seemed a little bit more weight on my two shoulders than I can bear. 

So as a good missionary I pray and turn things over to the Lord and go peacefully through the day leading my children in prayers for safety for their Daddy.

(That was supposed to be the comic relief inserted into this depressing story.) :)

What really happened is that I am tense and snapping at the boys and Elijah’s very defiant and struggling with Brant being gone and I try to pray with the boys and then start crying when I get to the “Please keep Daddy safe” part. 

I do feel weighted down and I am about to break under the pressure of making decisions and handling the boys on my own. I do feel like my life is in holding pattern til Brant gets back and we can resume “normal” life. 

But I do feel God has called us to this. He has called Brant to hike in this unknown jungle to reach this unknown people whom He created and died for. He has called me to this time of waiting for a phone call, trusting Him when it happens and trusting Him when it’s delayed. He has called the boys to learn to trust Him (and obey me!) without their daddy around. 

And He gives grace to bear the weight of the uncertainty that He has put in front of us all. For really, I am not carrying this weight because I have no one to share it with - I am carrying it because I am not “throwing it on the Lord.” Knowing His shoulders are stronger than mine is a huge comfort to me tonight. Knowing His eyes are on Brant, somewhere in the dark jungle; and me, sitting here waiting; and the boys, coughing in the next room... huge comfort tonight.

This story does have a happy ending... our leadership guy just called and the men checked in with him about twenty minutes ago... they were unable to get through on the SAT phone to any of the wives. They’re in a village, in little hut around a fire, tired after a day of hiking, but doing well and safe for the night. 

I am thankful to have that weight off my shoulders. 

Thoughts the night before we leave

It has been a really good furlough. And tonight, our last night before we fly back, it's over. We've spent the week packing, running all the last minute errands that come with moving and leaving. I've used an automatic washing machine one last time. Savored ordering a drink at Starbucks one last time. Loaded dishes into a dishwasher one last time. Not all hard memories to leave though... I paid $4 a gallon for gas one last time! :)

We took the boys to Disneyland yesterday, compliments of my grandmother's Christmas gift to our family. It was fun and beautiful weather and magical just the way I had prayed it would be. Caleb's eyes lit up watching the dolls dance in "It's a Small World." Elijah bravely rode BY HIMSELF on a ride, just because, at 8 years old, he could. And Ezra commanded the ship in Storybook Land when the boat driver set him up high on the back railing - he was so proud of himself you would have thought he owned the boat. Was a beautiful day. Late at night as we were watching the parade and the princesses dance by, it hit me that this world - this American world where parents give their children wonderful, special experiences just for fun... was the same world of our overseas life... where little girls like Penny don't feast on fireworks and princesses but starve for breathe and die slow, painful deaths to undiagnosed, yet, easily treatable diseases. 

We are about to leave the one world and enter the other. I cried yesterday when I saw my little boys gasp for excitement at all the wonder around them. I know I will cry in the months and years to come at the injustice and pain and sorrow that is part of the world we have adopted. I don't know how the Lord does it - smiling with all the little girls and boys so excited at Disneyland and yet weeping as little ones miles away suffer unknown and unnoticed. 

I am thankful tonight. Thankful for the good months we have had here. Thankful for how my soul has been fed and filled and rested. Truthfully, I am scared to go back. But I am thankful for the chance to work and reach out and grow and be tested. Hard life, we live sometimes. But rich. 

Scenes from a Texas December

December was way different this year than what we've gotten used to overseas... for starters, it was cold. :) Overstuffed stores decorated for Christmas and the radio blared Christmas music non-stop, both much to Brant's annoyance. But mostly, it was just way, way busy with lots of events and activities. We enjoyed all the treats - chocolate chips and Christmas sprinkles; driving around and seeing decorated houses; shopping. :) (Well, just I enjoyed that!) Fun, but definitely crazy... 

The boys wanted a "big" tree this year, one that was "real." We headed to a local tree farm to cut one down. 

Elijah found one he wanted for his room...

We finally picked one as a fam...

And the men all helped cut it down...

In our house, decorated with borrowed ornaments...

We spent one Friday night at a living nativity (which I didn't get a single pic of!) and then at a trail of lights which was way fun...

And we ended the evening with huge slices of pie...

The boys participated in the church's Christmas program...

We baked treats for the neighbors and the boys' teachers...

Made a gingerbread train...

And visited Santa at the little candy shop in town...

The boys with their advent gift of the day...

Right before Christmas, we packed up our house and moved in with my parents. Sad to say good bye to our little house - SO thankful for the beautiful little house God has given us. This is on the last day...

Almost like snow...

The boys have been extremely disappointed to learn that living in America does not automatically mean snowy winter days. In fact, winter in Texas is often just like winter in the Tropics - rainy and hot. :) But  God has been gracious to my little men and we have had an usually cool fall in Texas... with a few 90 degree weeks here and there. :) 

Elijah's science experiment for the past few weeks has been to leave cups of water outside at night to see if the temperatures drop down to freezing. Finally, finally, after many disappointing mornings, he was thrilled to discover solid ice yesterday. 

And yes, he may or may not be outside in 33 degree weather with flip flops and pajamas on. Once a jungle boy, always a jungle boy. :)

The little boys got in on the action too... we hurried outside as soon as they woke up before the ice melted....

Elijah insisted on storing a big chunk of it in the freezer to show Brant later in the day. I may have done the same thing when I was his age. Sorry, Mom. Now I know how annoying it is to have a HEB bag in my freezer filled with chunks of dirty ice. :)

November in review

November flew by in our house. That Brant's aunt showed up on the first and his parents left on the 30th may have had a BIT to do with it. :) But we also hosted parties and Thanksgiving and had school and life and birthdays.... was a really busy, fun month.

Reading with Gappy on the back porch.

The week Gappy was here Brant worked the election, we hosted a huge missions dinner/game night for our church and did a joint birthday party for Elijah and Caleb....

We did the boys' party at a state park. The weather was perfect and no one fell in the river. :)

Then we went to a family music festival. The boys loved the rides. We loved seeing Jeremy Camp and David Crowder.

School projects... Elijah's volcano...

His shield and coat of arms... he and Brant worked for hours on it, researching all the symbols.

 We came to watch his presentation...

Caleb had to dress up like a Pilgrim or an Indian and make up a little story about himself. He called himself "Creeping Snake."

I went to see my brother and sister perform in "Hamlet."

We took a quick trip to see my sister and her fam, my grandparents and some friends. The cousins in the tree house...

 We hosted a BBQ for my dad's birthday. Was really fun and yum food.

Brant's parents came at the end of the month for two weeks and Caleb, my brown eyed boy, celebrated his 6th birthday.

We hosted Thanksgiving and my parents and the twins came too... really fun day which *might* have ended with a late night trip to Walmart so I could buy 50 pairs of little boy underwear at half price. :)  And unfortunately, it was so crazy I didn't get a single picture (of Thanksgiving, not of the underwear buying!) :) I did really enjoy Black Friday shopping. Don't laugh... if you had to buy 3 years of little boy birthday and Christmas presents, you would go for the cheapest shopping day of the year too!