Peace in the craziness (aka not thinking about packing)

We are in house building mode. I have scraps of paper with kitchen cabinets sketched out and window dimensions scribbled on napkins. I would say it's kinda fun - like designing and building your dream house, except I am pretty sure my dream house would never be in a swamp with a hive of angry bees underneath the floorboards. I wake up in the night calculating how many kilos all the boys' toys weigh and how many flights it will take to get all our stuff moved into the jungle.

We are going through lots of Tylenol and Advil around here. :) 

I was looking up a picture on the computer for someone earlier today and all my "Last Import" pictures caught my eye.... I was shocked at all the fun stuff we've done the last few weeks..... So to forget the tribal house drama for a few moments, I want to remember and be thankful that even though it doesn't feel like it, we have had some peace and fun in the midst of the craziness...

Exploring a new beach... friends with a canoe.... what else could you ask for?

 Marshmallow Peeps from a package.... Microwave at the Guest house... need I say more?

Track & Field Day at the international school... Elijah woke up at 5, he was SO excited! Alas, my sweet firstborn has inherited his parents' non-athletic abilities, but he was thrilled with his 2 3rd place ribbons (only 3 people competing!) and his prized 2nd place (in shot put!) and his participation award. :) 

This is a really cool pic... but he only traveled about 3 feet. :) 

The little boys cheered Elijah on and had fun getting face painting... which to be "cool" (and avoid getting paint on your face!) is in the form of an arm tattoo. :) 

  

Brant was in the village for Track & Field Day, but we celebrated a fun day anyways with friends at the pizza restaurant. Elijah's not mad... he's just too cool to smile for pictures these days. 

We found canned pears at the grocery store... so of course we had to make the pear mice we saw in the Clubhouse magazine. :) 

Elijah and I had a "date" to the mission community's annual "Classical Concert" - it's a fundraiser for the school and anyone in the community with musical talent can participate. It was such a fun night topped off with "fancy" desserts in the courtyard.

Brant's birthday is the first weekend in May... he shares a birthday with our teammate, Ryan, so we planned the building trip so the guys could be back in town for a nice birthday dinner. Life has been so hectic lately that a guest who stopped by to get a key for her room ended up helping me roll out the pie crust while my house helper frantically peeled and cut apples... but together all 3 of us got a pie made from scratch in less than 45 minutes! The boys and I each got a small slice and then Brant ate the rest of it all by himself. He was a happy man. 

Seven Days

Brant and Ryan were in the tribe seven days for Building Trip #2. Just a quick trip in to get Ryan’s foundation laid before Easter and all the festivities in town began. A far cry from the two week trip planned at the end of April; shorter than the ten days of Building Trip #1. How hard could seven days be?

Very. 

Day #1 - Brant had not been gone two hours... was still in the air, flying, in fact, when I got a phone call. Crying, my friend barely managed to whisper the words “There’s been a plane crash.” One of the old school missionary pilots, been flying here over 20 years, clipped the edge of a bridge in the misty morning as he struggled to get altitude on take-off. The plane exploded in flames... he was killed instantly. 

Day #2 - A flurry of activity - calls from all over the island; people looking for a place to stay for the funeral. Tears. People stopping to visit and hug and talk. I had just talked to his wife the day before the crash. I spend hours talking with the little boys explaining that Daddy is okay; that his plane did not crash. 

Day #3 - The funeral - a 5 hour affair with hundreds of people packing the hanger where he normally parked the now charred plane. Speeches and tears and his favorite music played. Tears.

Day #5 - We had a beautiful day - April and I dragged all 6 kids to the big city to watch “Rio 2” and eat ice cream. :) It was fun and relaxing and a perfect reset after a really hard week. On the way home, April spotted a sign that said “Decorative cut flowers” - not real sure what it could mean, we stopped and there were REAL flowers.... roses and tulips and daisies and Easter lilies. NEVER have seen flowers like that in our almost 7 years here. We screamed in excitement and bought ourselves bouquets. :) 

About two hours after we got home from the movies, boys in bed, flowers arranged in a makeshift vase, I got an email from one of our tribal missionary families. They needed a room at the guest house.... tomorrow. The wife was having some odd pregnancy symptoms and needed to get things checked out. When something like this happens, we (meaning Brant!) immediately go into med-evac mode, calling flights and the doctor and leadership guys.... all of whom were off island at the moment. I had never done a med-evac myself and I was up late into the night trying to get all the pieces together. 

Day #6 - I did the med-evac for the family with the lady who was having problems with her pregnancy and it was a tiring, stressful day, running them to doctors and kids to baby-sitters (they have 5!) but praising the Lord we got through it and my little boys (who I had to drag all over town with me) did an excellent job and were such troopers! We found out that the baby had died, but the wife had not had any labor symptoms or any signs that she would deliver the baby, so the doctor advised they stay in town til then to make sure everything was okay. It was really sad and a hard day. Lots of tears. 

Anyways, the next night (Day #7 - Brant still not home) I wake up about 3 am to pounding on my outside door.... I thought it was a drunk guy, so I called the family we had med-evaced to get the husband to come check it out (they were the only ones staying at the guest house) and the wife answered the phone, crying and yelling for me to come help. The pounding on the door was a little local girl who had come to help take care of their kids while the wife was ill. Anyways, I get to the guest house (in my PJs - had locked my sleeping boys in our house) and the wife had delivered the baby - a little boy - in the night. The doctor had come and helped (I had slept through the whole thing) and everything had gone smoothly. The doctor had left about 2 hours earlier, but around 3 a.m. the wife started hemorrhaging and passed out. It was so, so scary. We really thought she was going to die. So the husband and I carry the wife down the stairs to the car and he rushes her to the hospital, where mercy of all mercies, there was a doctor in the emergency room (usually they have NO doctors at the hospitals during the nights here!) and the doctor was THE one OB doctor that the American doctor here had recommended. They immediately did a D&C and stabilized her. (I knew none of this til lunch time.) Meanwhile, I am at the guest house - with their 5 kids, this local girl, and my 3 boys back at my house (same property, about 100 yards away.) So the girl and I carry all 3 of my little boys in the rain to the guest house where we put them in a vacant room to sleep (of course they didn't - they all woke up right away) and I tried to sleep for a couple hours til day light... all the while going back and forth with a leadership wife trying to get blood donations sorted (we only use missionaries for blood donors.) Both of our head leadership guys were actually flying while this whole thing happened, so there was no way to get ahold of them! I was so scared and overwhelmed.... after I got my boys settled and their kids settled I lay down in bed and just sweat and sweat and sweat... it must have been all the adrenaline kicking in. Needless to say, I never went back to sleep that night, and my boys didn't either. The family's youngest (2 yrs old) woke up screaming and I tried to comfort him til I realized he still nursed and would not be comforted without mama. So I held a screaming kid for 2 hours solid. If I had ever thought about having kid #4, I no longer will. :) Somehow I got Elijah out the door for school. All 8 kids ate breakfast. I walked around in this "what in the world just happened?” fog and I prayed their mama would live. I cried. I called my dad and we talked and I cried and we prayed. 

As soon as the leadership guys touched down around 8 am, they headed straight up here, took all of the kiddos (mine included!) and sent me home to bed. Brant came home that evening and I just cried and cried and cried. Hard, hard days I've been through lately. By myself. 

I kinda accept life as it comes and don't really question God much... firm believer that what happens He ordains, so I need to just get over it and accept it as good from His hand. But I really, really struggled with this past week. Death, chaos, more death. Why was I by myself for those things? Couldn't the Lord have timed all those things a bit differently? Not even was Brant not around, but neither were our leadership guys. I was all alone. All alone with 8 kids and a screaming baby. Scared. 

In that dark night as I lay sweating, I flipped to Hosea. Funny assignment the Lord gave Hosea - go marry a prostitute. I am sure he wasn't thrilled with his job and had a lot of questions for the Lord too. But he did it and God gave grace and God used that really hard assignment to spread His message of grace to His people.

And really, God gave grace to me too. He gives such grace. I had my beautiful Easter flowers. Little boys who thought they were on a grand adventure getting to have a sleep over at the guest house.  No fancy meal or dessert to welcome Brant home, but we got yummy fried yellow rice as take-out and we all love yellow rice. All grace. And a husband and good night’s sleep and a new day. 

Not Quite World Records

March.... will go down in the record books in our house....

First trip into the tribe as a family.... (already wrote about that one!) 

First time we ate blueberries and strawberries in the same YEAR here....

After a really fun girls' grocery shopping trip to the big city with my teammate (yes, life is that exciting here) I ended up with FRESH strawberries AND blueberries AND cream... all in the same day. I wanted to make a Flag Cake :) but ended up settling on berry shortcake for dessert... and breakfast... and lunch... :) It was heaven. 

First broken bone playing sports for me.... (soccer injury - snapped my big toe all the way across the joint... yes, 3 weeks later, still painful)

And then... and then.... and then, as if the excitement of fresh berries and tribal visits and broken toes was not enough....

My darling Ezra decided to try to jump over the tent fort in one great flying leap... and landed on his shoulder with lots of screaming and tears. I was a good, compassionate mother and rocked him for about one minute and then said "Shake it off." Five days later, when he was still refusing to use his arm, even with us yelling at him and threatening to spank him, we decided maybe he was still really hurt. Yes, I am quick sometimes.

So when Brant called from the hospital radiology department saying "His collarbone is definitely broken," I cried I felt so guilty. I made an appointment to have his shoulder braced later that afternoon with our American doctor here in town.

First broken bone for Ezra....

But poor kid, never got a second glance from the doctor. About 10 minutes before we left our house for his doctor's appointment, we got a call from Elijah's teacher... he has a fever - of 104 - and is really sick. Could we come get him?

As the school and the clinic are on the same property, I headed right up, dropping Caleb with our teammates. Brant was prepping his flight into the tribe and couldn't get away from the airport. I dropped Ezra in the clinic waiting room and ran to Elijah's class where he was laying on the floor asleep with a pillow and a blanket. Have you ever seen your kid asleep on a classroom floor? Gives you horrible mother guilt... almost as bad as threatening to spank your kid for not using a broken bone. :)

I carried Elijah to the clinic, where his fever registered 105 and he began throwing up uncontrollably. It was horrific to watch. The nurses and doctor totally ignored Ezra and immediately started working on Elijah.

So tests and more high fevers and lots more throwing up and a hospital trip later and Elijah is diagnosed with Typhoid.... a very dangerous bacterial infection of the intestines. You get it from contaminated drinking water or food.... like in a tribe where no one has clean water. We had all been vaccinated against it, but the vaccine isn't 100% effective. I had never had any experience with Typhoid, but the "Where There is No Doctor" book says "Of all the tropical fevers one can get, Typhoid Fever is the worst." And they were right on....

First Typhoid Fever case in our family (and hopefully the last!)....

For those who care, Typhoid basically destroys your white blood cells so your body can't fight infection. They put Eiljah on very strong antibiotics, but because his WBC was so low, it took a long time for the drugs to even kick in and for us to even see a bit of improvement... like 5-6 days. We had to give him meds every 2 hours around the clock for several days to keep his fever down and to keep him from throwing up (yes, even through the night.)

So to say we've been reeling a bit the last few weeks is an understatement. Brant left for the tribe just 3 days into the broken collar bone/Typhoid fever saga and I was totally exhausted. But with tons of people praying, and nowhere we had to go (or could go!) we made the best of our forced stay at home....

There were crafts... (aka "Use up all the random supplies we don't want to fly interior)

There were TONS of books and some doughnut making as a result (from Homer Price's "Doughnuts")

And there was lots of quiet time coloring and painting.... I love this picture.

I know these pictures look like we've had a vacation the last week... I didn't take a picture of all the laying around that happened the other 23 hours of each day and the nonstop watching movies and shoving pills into clamped close mouths and the tears (both the boys' and mine!) ....I was trying to dwell on the positive. :) 

Has been a tough few weeks... but by God's grace and with endless prayers and help from friends, we can do tough. As the doctor (who finally got around to seeing Ezra!) said as she prepped Ezra to be a "soldier" with his brace on, "You have to be a tough soldier when you wear this pack." And he's been a tough guy pulling imaginary guns and swords from his "pack" ever since. 

First boy who's become a soldier...

A good tribe for us

On Monday we headed into our tribal area... it worked out with flights and weights that the boys and I were able to go in and get a sneak peek at the area we will be living and serving in very soon....

I would by lying if I didn't say we were all really, really nervous. I was excited about the trip, but what if I hated the area or it was a horrible experience for the boys and then we spent the next 4 months dreading moving into the tribe? We talked and prepped the little boys a ton... they would be the first little white skinned boys the tribal people had ever seen... and I was afraid they would be mobbed.... which would lead to screaming and hating the area and spending the next 4 months dreading.... you get the idea. The night before we left the boys were up off and on all night long; they were so nervous. So we were a BIT tired and groggy heading into the whole adventure... 

BUT, we had a ton of people praying. We could feel it every minute. And God was so gracious in answering prayers.

The flight in... the boys are extremely disappointed that we have an airstrip and don't get to use the helicopter. Our budget is extremely grateful we have an airstrip. :):) 

We're about an hour and a half flight from town. They don't serve food or have potties on little mission planes... just FYI. :)

Our tribe! The airstrip on the right side.... you can faintly see the main village path headed off the path on the far left end of the airstrip. The second path forms a T and heads to the river. Our houses are going to be located towards the end of the airstrip close to the village.

The first hour on the ground was intense. Very intense. As soon as we landed and the plane turned off, people swarmed around the plane. The door opened and I could see dozens of faces... beautiful, beautiful faces. Immediately it was like "These are OUR people!" and I was so overwhelmed. Little grandmas rushed up to me and started giving me hugs and my thought was "They will never live long enough for us to learn the language and present the Gospel" and that was a really sobering thought. I also realized almost instantly that not a single lady spoke a single word of the national language... they didn't even understand "hello." It was this choking, "I HAVE to learn this language right this second" kind of realization. So, with all those emotions, I am fighting back tears while I'm trying to greet everyone, because I don't want to freak them out by being the crying white lady. AND this whole time the boys are clinging to me for dear life and hiding behind me as people are trying to grab their arms and say hello. 

  

But really, the whole introduction part went really well. The people were beautiful - they bathe every day in the river, so they don't have a lot of skin diseases and they don't smell bad. They have very fertile ground, so things grow well and food is not an issue - so they are very healthy... not a lot of runny noses, goupy eyes, or yellow hair from malnutrition. (All common issues we see in tribal areas.) Plus the people were very kind and restrained. They were excited to see us and they wanted to grab arms - how they give traditional greetings - but they didn't pull on the boys' clothes or hair or cheeks. They seemed to get that the boys were scared, so they kept some space, which was such a blessing.  And the boys held it together well - no crying or screaming; they were very brave. Immediately the ladies started trying to teach me words - pointing to boys/girls, house, bridge.... lots of laughter as I tried out very unfamiliar sounds. They showed us around the village - taking us to our lodging for the night and showing us the crude outhouse a prior missionary had constructed. They helped the little boys (and me!) over the logs that serve as bridges around their area. 

All this while Brant was helping unload the plane and get our wood cutting team set up in their lodgings. He had to introduce them to the leaders of the village and get things squared away for the flight the next day. So basically it was just the boys and I and all the village ladies and kids on our own....

I was so thankful for the peoples' kindness and how gentle they were with the boys. The paths in the village are wide and clean, so the boys were soon comfortable running up and down them as we explored. The people grouped around us as we walked around. We pulled out the few toys we had brought with us and that gave the boys a good "coping" mechanism - they could throw a Frisbee with the other kids without any language needed, plus it kept a healthy distance between them. :) The tribal kids were fascinated by the Frisbee and caught on quickly, laughing and running after it. Some of the ladies figured out how to throw it and were giving their kids lessons on holding their arms just so... it was fun to watch. Once the boys saw that they were just regular kids who responded just as they did to a Frisbee, that really helped them relax.

Within a few hours, the boys were playing with the tribal kids, swapping grasshoppers in some made up game I never understood. (Though I think it entailed throwing the grasshoppers into the water and trying to peg them with sticks.)

I am thankful for the prior times we've had in tribal areas.... the boys have learned ways they could "connect" with the tribal kids and "play" even though cultures and language are so different.

Once Brant was able, he took us around the house sites and showed us where our house would be built. We have a huge beautiful fruit tree in our yard that will give us much needed shade in the afternoons. (And that we might get some fruit from!) We were told we didn't "own" the tree or its fruit - it belongs of one of the village leaders, but he was willing to share. Ezra was ecstatic- it was one of his favorite types of fruit.

We slept in the radio shed, which various short term missionaries have used before. It was cozy.... 3 tiny rooms- 1 with a table, 2 with wooden planks for beds which was really uncomfortable. :) No electricity and no water, except what collected off the roof in a 50 gallon drum outside (which we filtered to drink) But we survived.

It is hot in our area. Brant had warned me, and he was right. But, I was pleasantly surprised that it wasn't THAT hot - not Texas in August intense, envelop you and you can't breathe kind of hot, but still hot, probably between 90 and 95 degrees. (In town where we live now, it's usually about 88 in the hottest part of the day.) It was very humid - our skin was sticky almost the whole time we were there. The worst part was it was still, very still. Not a whiff of a breeze at all. But when I fanned myself with a paper, it was so much more bearable. We do have ceiling fans for our house and little personal fans for our beds, so I think it will be doable. It did cool off nicely at night and was comfortable in the morning, so I was excited that we won't be sweating to death our entire time in the tribe. :)  

The people brought us peanuts, boiled bananas (which were nasty) and these amazing fresh green bananas that we gobbled up. Late at night they brought a soup of potatoes and pumpkin... no spices, just boiled potatoes, pumpkin, and water. It was actually really, really good. 

 Heading down the main path of the village....

A typical village house...

 

Headed out to the airstrip to check out our house site...

Elijah standing in front of where our teammate's house will be - gives you an idea how close we will be to the village. (We are a tad farther away.... our house is the farthest from the village.)

My men standing in front of where our future house will be built....

The second day we went down to the river... the banks are steep and about 20 feet below the actual village; the people say it never floods over the banks. The river freaked me out a bit... it is huge, deep and very, very swift moving. Two words: life jackets. :)

Overall, it was a really, really good trip. I was encouraged about some things (tons of fresh fruit and veggies!) and was able to get a head's up on things that could be challenging (lots of flies everywhere - make sure to bring a good fly swatter!) Mostly though, I was excited to meet the people and know that this is where God has us. Thanks for praying. God abundantly answered your (and our!) prayers. As the boys were running around on the airstrip Monday evening, Elijah walked up and said, "Mom, I'm glad we picked this tribe. It will be a good tribe for us" and I agreed. 

The Lego Movie

So how ironic is it that in our little backward, far-flung corner of the world, we were able to see "The Lego Movie" this afternoon in 3D?!?! So much fun. The boys LOVED it.  Still loving the new theater in the big city 2 hours from us.

And yes, we let the boys get popcorn and sodas... not to rub it in, but we paid less for our tickets, sodas and popcorn together than you pay to get a ticket to a matinee.... there are perks, you know, to living in a 3rd world country. :)

While waiting

Some of you know we are facing some major ministry decisions in the next few days and weeks. We are feeling the weight of these decisions and I would be lying if I didn’t say it has been very tense around our home lately. Brant and I both are really seeking the Lord and praying for clarity... and waiting for His answer. Waiting. Waiting. Waiting.

So as we’ve been waiting for answers, the Lord has spoken to my heart a few things...

• Be faithful. The first few days of this process I really just wanted to crawl in bed and cry and forget the world. But I am a mom to 3 little boys. And have a guest house to run and school and dishes and clothes to fold. Life cannot wait (though the dishes piled in my sink is a scary sight!) and while I am waiting for the Lord, I cannot live in a cave. He calls me to be faithful to do - and be - who He has commanded me to be even during this time of uncertainty. 

• Be worshipful. Only when I have a proper perspective of Who God is and who I am in comparison am I prepared to accept “Thy will be done.” If I see myself as queen of my own destiny and ruler of my own little world, then I cannot hear the true King speaking and directing as He desires. Seeing God for Who He is comes through worshipping Him.  

• Be still. Very hard to do while you are running after little boys and trying to get dinner and fold clothes and take care of guests... you know, being faithful. :) But Brant and I have purposed to spend several hours each day taking turns reading our Bibles and praying (and worshipping!) while the other keeps life going. We have done this several times in the past and I am thankful for how well we can work it out - he usually takes early mornings to be by himself and then I take mid-morning til lunch. Means more movies for the boys and more piles of dirty dishes and laundry, but for this limited time, we need to shift priorities around.

• Be patient. It occurred to me yesterday that the Lord already knows. He already knows the answer we are waiting for and He already knows how these next few months are going to play out. So why hasn’t He clued us in yet? Not sure. I wish He would. :) But His timing in giving us the answers we are seeking is just as important as the answers themselves. 

So we wait and we work and we watch and we worship. One day at a time. 

There is always a bright side to everything...

We heard via SAT phone call tonight that the men have not seen a single crocodile while on their trip into the tribe. The boys were crushed. There may have been tears. Then ensued a very serious discussion between 3 little boys as to whether or not we should pursue finding another tribe.... one with crocodiles.
Caleb ended the conversation though by saying "Well, at least none of the dads got eaten when they were swimming in the river!"