Scary

Last fall Elijah’s tennis shoes fell apart.... after a year of hard wear one day they had just had enough; the soles fell off and his toes poked through all in one day. So I went to our big box of extra clothes and shoes and discovered to my dismay that despite all my detailed lists and careful shopping last time we were within 3000 miles of WalMart, I had forgotten to get two sizes of little boy tennis shoes... which meant that there were no shoes remotely close to Elijah’s size in the box.

So I trekked off to the “department store” here in town and then proceeded to hit all ten of the shoe stores in the local “mall.” People here have a thing for shoes... there are more shoe stores in the mall than all other types of stores combined. But I couldn’t find a decent pair anywhere. Quality here is crummy to say the least, and prices are expensive for the quality offered.

So I decided to pray about it. Elijah definitely needed some tennis shoes; he had flip flops, but nothing else. About a week later, we had gone to visit a friend and as we were leaving she said “Hey, does Elijah need shoes? I have a pair my son just outgrew that Elijah can have.” She pulled out a cute pair of little brown and navy Nike shoes that fit perfectly and still looked really nice (her son must be easier on his shoes!) I cried and praised the Lord that He was into details of little boy shoes.

And then, I thought, what a great opportunity I had missed to show Elijah God’s faithfulness. I had not told him I was praying about the shoes. I had not given him the chance to pray with me and watch God work. Was I scared that God would let me (and him?) down?

So, today we talked to Elijah about school. He’s supposed to start kindergarten in ten days, but as of yet, we don’t have the money for tuition. We told Elijah the situation and how much money we need and told him we will all be praying that the Lord would provide the money in the next week.

The caveat in this situation is that we’re not sure that the Lord wants him in kindergarten at the MK school. We have all the home school materials already and the logistics of half-day kindergarten would be difficult to swing with only one car - which Brant needs most days for supply buying. WE really want him to be able to go, and HE wants to go, but we’re also open to the idea that maybe the Lord doesn’t want him to go, so maybe the lack of money is the Lord’s way of saying it’s better to homeschool him this year.

Funny thing, this trusting the Lord business. It’s a scary thing to put God to the test in front of your children - definitely a test of your own faith. :) We know the Lord can provide and we want Elijah to see God’s work in providing... but we also know that a “no” answer is also God’s working as well...